I think that, too often, we think that bad feelings are bad.
When I reached the moment where I was finally ready to give my first public speech at a university, I arranged everything with the university and was all set to go.
Less than 24 hours later, I canceled. I couldn’t do it. The FEAR was just too much. It’s like that moment you’re about to jump into an ocean of freezing cold water, but your legs won’t let you jump, so you fall back into the boat.
Being afraid and fearful is a natural human emotion. Since we’re built to survive, our mind will try to stop us from doing anything that it perceives as a potential threat to our existence, happiness, or well-being.
I know that, in my life, the Fear has gotten to me and either delayed me, or completely prevented me, from doing something I actually wanted to do.
Has the exact same thing not happened to you before too?
Isn’t there a way we could use those bad feelings to our advantage somehow? Could we take the fear and the frightfulness of whatever we’re feeling fearful and frightful towards and use it beneficially?
We definitely can.
How? Like this:
-FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAYS
Be courageous and push your way through whatever Fear it is that you’re feeling. If you’re on the edge of the boat, about to jump into the icy cold ocean waters, just close your eyes, count to three, and let it go.
Remember….Fear is nothing but a delusion, and we tend to over-amplify how bad things will be. Don’t psych yourself out.
-LOVE & EMBRACE POSITIVE FEAR
What are you more afraid of: Trying and maybe failing, or never trying and never succeeding?
For me, I’m much more afraid of what life would be like if I didn’t try to live the life I want then if I just played it safe and never left my comfort zone.
There are things in my life, both material and immaterial, that I’ve worked hard to earn. The Fear of losing those things scares me more than the Fear of failing, taking risks, or trying new things.
Think of things in your life that you love and make you happy, or that you would love and would make you happy, and use the Fear of losing, or not ever getting, those things as a way to motivate and empower yourself and get you to push through the barriers.
-LOOK FORWARD TO TRANSFORMATIONAL FEAR
Some Fears will be an experience that, when you’re finished experiencing them, will transform, change, and improve you in some way.
I used to have a Fear of rejection. Now, I’ve gotten rejected so many times that my experiencing that Fear has allowed me to progress and move past it to the point where I see rejection as a sign of growth, progress, and laughter.
I used to Fear working out because I always assumed I’d never get any results. Since breaking through that Fear, I’ve gotten myself into the best shape of my life and I feel younger now at 28 than I ever did all through my 20s.
Transformational Fears will change you, grow you, and improve you. Bring them in close and don’t be afraid of them. All the change to happen. Don’t fear it.
First, you’re afraid. Then, you conquer the Fear. Last, you’ve now broken through one of your limitations and eliminated a crushing ceiling from your life.
-DON’T BE AFRAID. BE CURIOUS.
Don’t convince yourself that you’re afraid. Convince yourself that you’re curious. Fear is negative. Curiosity is positive. Be curious about the unpredictable, the unforeseen, and the unknown. This will eliminate feelings of tension, nervousness, and anxiety, and instead create feelings of playfulness, excitement, and expectancy.
Marcus Allen, the hall of fame football player, said that he was afraid of the water for 38 years. He said it wasn’t until he tried scuba diving, without swimming lessons, and half-drowning, before he realized just how much he loved the water.
I don’t want to be in fear of life.
It’s perfectly ok to feel those feelings. But, what’s not ok is to allow them to limit your potential awesomeness by accepting them in a disempowering way.
I still get afraid. I’m always afraid of a speech going terribly, a meeting collapsing, or a client walking away total dissatisfied. I don’t want to be inadequate, sub-par, or considered to be mediocre at what I do.
But, when I feel those Fears, I do all I can to do it anyway, love & embrace it, and allow it to transform me.
“Death will kill you once. But Fear, if you let it, will kill you over, and over, and over again.”